First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
