Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
