you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
