I want to have your abortion
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
