wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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