I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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