dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize