I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
