Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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