he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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