I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
