She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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