walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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