i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize