i may or may not be watching the land before time
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
