Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
