He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize