I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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