If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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