A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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