is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
