God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
