Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
