i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize