i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
