and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
