He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
