So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
