please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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