Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
