I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
