So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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