just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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