Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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