your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
