just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
