I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
