Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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