I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
