Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
