Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
