North Korea, Best Korea!
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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