Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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