Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
What a dumb baby whore.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
