but the lizard people decide everything anyway
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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