You're a womanizer and a bitch.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
