I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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