well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
