don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Pooping to opera.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
