So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
