I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
