Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
