Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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