For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I have surprise drugs for everyone
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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