At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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