How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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