dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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