They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
