I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
