i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
We smell like vodka and hangover
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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